Gene for poor science journalism discovered

Scientists at the University of Boulder, Colorado have discovered the gene that causes poor science journalism. The gene causes an increase in activity in the journalism area of the cortex, and releases massive quantities of what has been called the ‘sloppy-headline-hormone’ into the bloodstream.

People with a specific variant of the NVAL2 gene exhibit a pathological urge to publish outlandish headlines, distort quotations and to link every scientific finding to cancer. “Take this particularly severe case, patient X12, a science journalist who has worked for a variety of newspapers and websites. Last year she wrote 90 articles that described household objects that either cause or prevent cancer, several of which allegedly did both. A colleague  was even more severely afflicted: He wrote several pieces on the evolutionary benefits of Nordic walking, how the earth’s magnetic core harms children and how playing Angry Birds increases animal cruelty. Really, it’s a tragic disease.”

The researchers did not comment on whether expression of the gene might cause a black hole, if the gene will help to develop cold fusion or whether the ancient Mayans discovered the gene before modern science.

Dr Psyphago previously reported on this shocking finding here

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10 comments

  1. Pingback: Gene for poor science journalism discovered | C.W. Schadt | Microbial Ecology
  2. Ryan Deans

    Has anybody found a link between variant NVAL2 and the mid ~90s cluster of reportage positing dopamine and serotonin as the causative factors in all neurological and behavioral studies?

  3. Bruno

    This specific variant of NVAL2 is also present in scientists. But in this specific background, the phenotype is a bit different. Scientists with this variant exhibit a pathological urge to hype their research, over-interpret their findings and… to link every scientific finding to cancer.

    Just kidding, of course. This behavior has never been observed in scientists.

  4. Joel

    According to research published by the University of Wooloomoloo, NVAL2 is expressed into mRNA as “According to research published by the University of”. A high anti-correlation was observed to any additional citation information.

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