An international team of psychometricians are about to unveil what has been called ‘The perfect question”. Collaborating with an international team of sociologists, linguists and computer scientists, the researchers say they have developed a single question that measures every trait, property preference and ability currently known to scientists. The question is half a page long, and can be answered on a scale that ranges from ‘Very much disagree’ to “It completely depends on what the dog did to me first…..”
Principal investigor Franz Koblech is proud of his team. “This paper represents years of work by dozens of people dedicated to this one question, but it has been well worth the effort. Our question can measure, among other things, intelligence, political preference, akinetopsia, depression, body mass index, loneliness, athleticism and cooking ability. All with factor loadings above 0.5.”
According to experts, the administration of The Question to every adult in the country might save millions of dollars by replacing interviews, SAT’s, application forms and online user feedback questionnaires. Although The Question has not yet been made public, inside sources suggest that it definitely contains the words ‘Why’, ‘tax-deductable’ and ‘in your own words’. A small excerpt of the question has been revealed, but Koblech cautions that it should be used ‘only by experienced professionals in a controlled environment’.